…e myself enough to not allow this sickness to permeate my daily life. I do have a question for you. Have you been able to forgive your mother? Try as I might, I can’t forgive mine. I know “they” say forgiveness is not for them, but for us. However, if I’m being honest with myself, she just doesn’t deserve it. The odd thing is, I will always love her.
Hello Debbie, I’m happy to hear that you have found some peace in severing ties from your Mother. But the pain never ceases does it? Like you say; we carry it around like a heavy weight that sometimes knocks us sideways :-(
Golly do I forgive her I really don’t know. I think yes to some degree I do – I know that for the most part she is unaware of her behaviour and the damage it inflicts on others. I also know that borderline PD emerges from the ashes of trauma so in this I have a lot of compassion and empathy for her too. But there is a lot I don’t forgive, events, words said and I find it hard to reconcile my compassion for her with the fact that I am faced with so many difficulties in life because of her – for example trust issues, attachment problems etc. I love very deeply but struggle sometimes to allow others in and I hate this fact. But ultimately I am my own person, I have to take accountability for my future and for my own self-growth and healing, even if that healing happens to be because the damage she inflicted. Sorry I know this doesn’t really answer your qu 🤦🏼♀️I kind of do and I kind of don’t basically.
Sending you love and peace.